Thursday, July 27, 2017

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers! From the most prolific joke writer on the planet...!

A Massachusetts woman was topless when arrested in a road rage incident. Apparently she drove that way as she just didn’t trust her Takata airbags.

A report says Republicans are looking at a tax on advertising. Which most people agree with as long as it is mostly used to discourage those terrible political ads.

Researchers say they have discovered brain cells that control aging. That means besides the ones that make all men act like they are 10.

A report says the obesity epidemic is affecting 711 Million people worldwide. That number is a coincidence as most those people are fat from eating the junk food they buy at 7-Eleven stores.

A report says the obesity epidemic is affecting 711 Million people worldwide. The U.S. is the fattest with 12.7% of children reported to be obese. Which means the other 87.3% are still just not trying hard enough.

A report says the states most people are moving out of are in the northeast. Mostly so they can move to Ohio, Wisconsin and Michigan to prevent what took place in the 2016 election from ever happening again. 

A report says one third of all U.S. households have no savings and are at risk of financial ruin. The other two thirds say they wish they were in that good of shape.

New York subway trains will have some seats removed to increase their capacity. How fat have we gotten when we can’t even fit inside a train car unless everyone is standing?

New York subway trains will have some seats removed to increase their capacity. That seems like a long ways to go to just fight some occasional manspreading.

New York subway trains will have some seats removed to increase their capacity. Apparently there were too many complaints from subway perverts about not using the system anymore because it is so hard to grope women while they are sitting.

A man who was screaming death threats terrorized passengers on a BART train in California. Apparently those riders have never traveled Amtrak or they would have known that person as the conductor.

Italy’s health minister says water rationing in Rome because of a drought could result in health consequences. Mostly because it’s not like France where people don’t regularly use water for things like bathing.

Italy’s health minister says water rationing in Rome because of a drought could result in health consequences. Which could be a real problem if the people didn’t have wine and had to actually use water for drinking.

A group of Iowa businesses are suing United Airlines over the death of a giant rabbit in April. It’s just another case where an appearance issue can be solved with a hare transplant.

Coke Zero is being revamped as Coke Zero Sugar. Or as Coca-Cola will soon find out it will be more likely known as Coke Zero Sales.

A survey of U.S. Muslims says half claim to suffer from discrimination. Which is still better than the other half who still can’t get back into the country.

A California man was arrested for having live cobras inside potato chip cans. That’s what happens when people try to save money making their own snakes-flying-out-of-the-can gags.

Rick Perry fell for some Russian pranksters posing as the Ukraine Prime Minister. Although he got them right back as they were fooled by Perry posing as an Energy Secretary.

Rick Perry fell for some Russian pranksters posing as the Ukraine Prime Minister. The worst part is they started out the call by asking if he had Prince Albert in a can.

Donald Trump says he now wants to tax the rich. Which is another sign his tax returns are about to be released and may show he doesn’t have as much money as he says.

Boeing cost cutting has resulted in a boost of profits and shares. Which may not be comforting for people flying in their planes knowing that they were built with cheaper parts and labor.

Mark Zuckerberg blasted Donald Trump for banning transsexuals from the military, saying everyone should be able to serve. Everyone except for people like Trump and Zuckerberg who have enough money to afford lawyers to keep them out.

The GOP is considering a “skinny” healthcare bill. Which is ironic in that we wouldn’t need an overhaul of the healthcare system if fewer Americans were so fat.

A poll says 33% of Americans are happy. Those are the ones who don’t know how bad things still are because they avoid watching the evening news.

A poll says 33% of Americans are happy. The other 67% still live under the status of “married.”

A poll says 33% of Americans are happy. Those are the ones who still haven’t dedicated half their waking hours to being mesmerized by social media.

A poll says 33% of Americans are happy. That will drop to about 4% when Congress finally decides on a new healthcare plan.

Two psychiatry groups disagree over whether members should assess Donald Trump’s mental health. Not because of any ethical issues, they just feel if someone is being analyzed they should be a paying customer.

A study says getting paid a cash incentive increases the chances of people having a colonoscopy. Mostly because they already get the same sensation for free every day at the office.

A survey says the diabetes rate is highest for people working in the transportation industry. Especially for the people driving the Krispy Kremes trucks.

A study says that being neurotic can help people live longer. Which explains why Woody Allen is still going so strong at 81.

A study says that being neurotic can help people live longer. Which shows Congress really does have our best interests at stake with what they are doing to us when it comes to healthcare reform.

A study says that being neurotic can help people live longer. Which ironically means those of us may be putting off death by thinking about it every waking moment.

A poll says 57% of Americans think smoking should be banned in public. As long as we can still go out with others to eat junk food, drink booze and text while driving.

Researchers in California have built a worm-like robot that can grow 25,000 times its length when properly stimulated. It could be used for search and rescue, medical devices and it already has great interest from the Hollywood porn film industry.

The final public appearance for Prince Philip is set for August 2nd. It’s nice they are finally letting a man retire at age 96 from a long career of doing basically nothing.

The final public appearance for Prince Philip is set for August 2nd. Which at age 96 needs to be worded carefully as it sounds more like a funeral announcement.

Amber Rose spoke on her breakup with Kanye West, saying the only thing she got from him was fame. Which could be worse if she had to get it like everyone else by either working hard or having a talent.

Amber Rose spoke on her breakup with Kanye West, saying the only thing she got from him was fame. West married Kim Kardashian because she wasn’t after him for his fame, getting hers the old fashioned way. With a sex tape and reality TV show.

Kim Kardashian’s surrogate is reportedly three months pregnant with her and Kanye West’s third child. How rich, famous and busy do you have to be to start designating out childbirth?

L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti is indicating the city is in line for the 2028 Olympics. Which is pretty good considering eleven years in the future is only half the time it took to replace an NFL team after the raiders left in 1994.

L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti is indicating the city is in line for the 2028 Olympics. He would have preferred the 2024 Games but wanted to wait until he made sure they could first finish construction on the rams and Chargers stadium in Inglewood.

Hugh Freeze talked of his resignation from Ole Miss, saying his family is his priority. Mostly keeping his children between him and his wife when the subject of escort services ever comes up.

Oklahoma State University and Ohio State University are in a battle over the trademark of “OSU.” The sad part is that with only one winning season since 2009, Oregon State isn’t even trying to stake a claim in that fight.

Falcons tackle Dontari Poe made a $125,000 bonus by dropping 15 pounds to make his contract weight. Which is just the opposite of most Americans who pay another $125,000 over their lifetime to be able to carry around at least 15 extra pounds.

Falcons tackle Dontari Poe made a $125,000 bonus by dropping 15 pounds to make his contract weight. Which works out to about $2,000 for each of the 60 Quarter Pounders with Cheese he had to skip to make it through getting on the scale.

Falcons wide receiver Julio Jones has hired a dive team to find the $100,000 earring he lost while jet skiing on a lake. It’s just a good thing before he went out he remembered to take off the brooch, belly chain and pearl necklace.

Falcons wide receiver Julio Jones has hired a dive team to find the $100,000 earring he lost while jet skiing on a lake. Which means if Barry Bonds ever drowns, they won’t call for water rescue as much as a salvage team.

Maria Sharapova says she is taking the high road when it comes to dealing with coming back from her doping ban. Although she could have probably made the statement with some more carefully chosen words.

The San Diego State football program will be looking for a new field when its contract runs out with Qualcomm Stadium, which was also home to the Chargers. The Chargers had a good reason to leave with an offer in L.A. where they finally have the chance to be the best team at their home field.

Mitch McConnell says if anyone has good ideas for a healthcare plan to bring them to the Senate floor. McConnell says he had a really good plan at one time but apparently his dog ate it.

Mitch McConnell says if anyone has good ideas for a healthcare plan to bring them to the Senate floor. Which instills great confidence in Congress knowing this is how they handle an issue they have been trying to repeal since 2010.

Google is committing $50 Million to help people prepare for the “changing nature of work.” Meaning they should just give the people the $50 Million and tell them they will have to make it last because pretty soon there won’t be any more jobs.

E-cigarettes are being credited with helping people quit smoking cigarettes. Now if they could only help them get off the heroin, opioids, amphetamines, crack…

A survey says 43% of workers say they don’t get enough sleep to be safe at work. Fortunately the other 57% are able to use their time on the job to get enough sleep to catch up.

A report says farmers are turning to Artificial Intelligence to grow better crops. Which was predicted years ago in “The Wizard of Oz” when the scarecrow finally got his brain.

Uber will start charging $15 to return lost items left in cars. Which unfortunately won’t be the case with its drivers who will never be able to reclaim their dignity.

A report says Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump could have a net worth of $762 Million. Which is just another way of referring to what they call their wedding gift.

A report says Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump could have a net worth of $762 Million. Hopefully they can now spring for enough cash on Father’s Day to buy Donald Trump a tie that fits.

That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Donald Trump is set to fire pretty much everyone in the Justice Department. Well, he said he would be creating jobs as President. The good news for him is that there won’t be anyone left to sue him for wrongful termination. Now that’s thinking. Right now I am thinking it would be great if all of you would make sure to remember to always keep on sending the love!



Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers! From the most prolific joke writer on the planet...!

Former CIA Director John Brennan called for a coup if special counsel Robert Mueller is fired. Although when taking into account their record of success in Europe and Central America, Donald Trump has nothing to worry about when it comes to the CIA calling for an overthrow.

Studies say the sperm count of western men has plunged to a record low. Mostly because their sperm is confused after seeing how all of them now have their nails done, slather themselves with moisturizer and put their hair in a man bun.

Studies say the sperm count of western men has plunged to a record low. Mostly because it’s difficult for most of them to keep their sperm production up to speed after staring at Internet porn eight hours ever day.
 
Data says Americans are upbeat about the economy and jobs. Although on the other hand, having to work three different jobs to make ends meet makes them feel more beat up.

Data says Americans are upbeat about the economy and jobs. In fact, people are so optimistic they think this may be the year they get their first job since 2007.

Donald Trump bashed the Washington Post as a lobbyist weapon for Amazon. Although that doesn’t make sense as with owner Jeff Bezos being worth $88 Billion, he has enough to write all the checks to bribe the members of Congress himself.

A report says more American cars are being made in Mexico. Mostly because in anticipation of Donald Trump’s border wall they know pretty soon the trunks of those cars will be the only way for any of them to get into the U.S.

New research says that ancient humans had sex with non-human species. Which shows they were just ahead of their time as the same thing will be taking place in the near future with the invention of sex robots.

A study says money can buy happiness when people pay others to do their unpleasant chores. Meaning they are happy to have enough money so they don’t have to do anything all day.

A study says money can buy happiness when people pay others to do their unpleasant chores. Which means many Americans will be very sad when Donald Trump succeeds at kicking all the immigrants out of the U.S.

Hundreds of Facebook cafeteria workers in the Bay Area have joined a union. Which is bad for other Facebook employees who need them to make it possible to post pictures of what they are all eating for breakfast every day.

John Boehner predicts the Republicans will never repeal and replace Obamacare. It took forever for them to just repeal and replace John Boehner as House Speaker.

Princeton has hired a new “men’s engagement manager” to combat aggressive masculinity on campus. That’s like UNLV hiring someone to combat excessive intellectualism on campus.

Princeton has hired a new “men’s engagement manager” to combat aggressive masculinity on campus. Which seems a bit unnecessary for a university where when you ask where all the jocks hang out, they point to the badminton locker room.

Scientists are warning that robots could threaten humanity and will be stronger than humans in the next few years. Which isn’t hard to believe as the only strength training people do anymore is lifting boxes of Oreos.

A NASA experiment could cause 30 sonic booms in Florida. Which is better than most NASA experiments that have one boom that happens during the crash.

A NASA experiment could cause 30 sonic booms in Florida. Which is fine as most people there will just write them off as the usual afternoon gunplay.

A report says tech will allow dogs and humans to have conversations within a decade. Which won’t be much different than today as the only things dogs will want to talk about are cookies, walks and going for a ride.

A report says Americans are filing fewer lawsuits. Mostly because it’s hard to file age discrimination cases for all the people who are now being laid off when they are 30.

A study says CTE has been diagnosed in 99% of all former NFL players. Until now it was just assumed the only brain damaged players were the ones who had ever signed with Cleveland.

Christie Brinkley says it’s hard to meet “nice guys” at age 63. Which most women agree with, adding it is also hard to find them in their 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s.

Christie Brinkley says it’s hard to meet “nice guys” at age 63. Which may have something to do with the fact that she has a habit of being attracted to people like Billy Joel and John Mellencamp.

A Florida man held neighbors hostage after asking them to borrow some salt. He should have also asked them for some AA Duracells as he is now being charged with salt and battery.

A Florida man held neighbors hostage after asking them to borrow some salt. Apparently he became upset when he realized he couldn’t make a traditional Florida meal as he was also out of fat and sugar.

A Russian cat has adopted some orphaned baby hedgehogs. Which shows Donald Trump, Jr. was actually telling the truth when he says that meeting with all those Russians was just about adoption.

A Canadian polygamist has been found guilty of having 25 wives. Apparently Canadian officials became a little suspicious when the man turned in marriage license applications numbers 23 and 24.

Former Undersecretary of Defense for Policy Michele Flournoy says the U.S. needs a strategy in Afghanistan. It’s good to see the Defense Department finally coming to that realization after being there for the past 16 years.

A report says “Wonder Woman” will be getting a film sequel and even announced the title as “Wonder Woman II.” Hopefully they will put a little more into the production then they did picking a name.

A report says “Wonder Woman” will be getting a film sequel and even announced the title as “Wonder Woman II.” The problem is that if it gets the nickname “WWII” it could be mistaken for a documentary showing nonstop on the History Channel.

A report says smugglers are offering crammed big rigs as “VIP treatment” for migrants trying to make it into the U.S. Apparently they are selling it on the fact there is so much more legroom than in the option of hiding in the trunk of a Chevy.

The IRS says thieves are now targeting business tax returns. Which is good news for major U.S. corporations that haven’t paid any income taxes since 1974.

The TSA found a record number of guns in carry-on bags at airports in July. Apparently the increase came after they finally took the emphasis off only looking for terrorists sneaking in containers with more than three ounces of liquid.

A jailed VW executive will plead guilty to his part in the U.S. diesel cheating scandal. He will be sentenced to prison once the case is finalized after all the smoke clears.

Domino’s Pizza says profits were up 33% although overseas sales were down. Although that is expected to be taken care of once all the European countries also decide to legalize marijuana.

The Senate voted 51-50 to debate the GOP healthcare plan. Which is good news for all the Senators as long as the debate actually includes telling them what is in it.

A study says U.S. kids are overdosing on dietary supplements. Apparently the children feel the need for supplements when they feel they aren’t getting their minimum daily requirements of fat, sugar and salt.

A study says U.S. kids are overdosing on dietary supplements. The question is, who is looking at our kids and telling them they just aren’t getting enough calories every day?

A psychiatrists group says it is OK for members to comment on the mental health of Donald Trump. Apparently the organization is asking why should they be different than everyone else?

A study says one or two minutes of running can be good for women’s bones. Although it isn’t so good for mens’ bones when they can’t run away from their wives who chase them down after catching them sneaking into the bedroom at 3:00 AM.

Bush Beans are being recalled because of defective cans. That isn’t the first time beans have been responsible for causing damage to the can.

Anne Hathaway is being cast for the title role in a live-action “Barbie” movie. Which in her case the role is being marketed as autobiographical.

Michael Vick is in the Chiefs camp as a coaching intern. Which is OK with most players as long as he isn’t put in charge of sitting their dogs.

Former Oregon wide receiver Darren Carrington is transferring to Utah after being arrested for a DUI. Which is a good move to take temptation away by moving to an area where there is no alcohol within three hundred miles.

Katie Ledecky has broken the women’s record for most swimming titles. Which in the world of swimming should hold up for about another three hours.

Katie Ledecky has broken the women’s record for most swimming titles. Her next goal is to race a simulated Michael Phelps for the Discovery Channel.

Jordan Spieth’s caddie Michael Greller is a former math teacher. Which turns out that he would be the perfect caddie for Jon Rahm to help him with the subtraction every time he gets a two shot penalty reversed.

Wide receiver Lucky Whitehead was cut by the Cowboys after a shoplifting arrest because of the teams dedication to “high character.” Which sounds weird coming from a team whose owner Jerry Jones almost insisted on drafting Johnny Manziel.

Wide receiver Lucky Whitehead was cut by the Cowboys even after charges of shoplifting were dropped against him when he claimed he was misidentified. It was just a good thing he was caught on camera wearing someone else’s number.

Elon Musk says Mark Zuckerberg’s understanding of Artificial Intelligence is “limited.” Which is a pretty tough statement coming from someone who builds electric cars that routinely catch fire and crash while on autopilot.

India’s transportation chief says driverless cars will be banned as they will kill jobs. Especially in a country of 1 Billion people where having drivers means constant work for ambulance crews, body shop and ER doctors.

John McCain returned to the Senate to a standing ovation. Other Senators didn’t catch the irony of welcoming their colleague back who just had major surgery and recovered in time to vote to take healthcare away from 22 Million other Americans.

Donald Trump called the Senate healthcare vote a “big step.” Although it isn’t known if the Senators supporting the measure are aware exactly what they just stepped in.

Donald Trump says “time will tell” about Jeff Sessions staying on as Attorney General. To which he then said “10…9…8…”

That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Thanks for checking in again to the blog. I appreciate you reading it and maybe getting a few laughs along the way. Make sure to tell some friends about it. I just wouldn’t advise recommending it to someone whose friendship is valuable to you. But like my jokes, I go for quantity over quality as is pretty obvious. Nothing is better than when I get a large quantity of you all remembering to always keep on sending the love!


Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Greetings, Oh Faithful Readers! From the most prolific joke writer on the planet...!

Jared Kushner in a speech says he “has not sought the spotlight.” How was he to know he would attract publicity after marrying Donald Trump’s daughter and becoming senior adviser to the President of the United States?

Jared Kushner in a speech says he “has not sought the spotlight.” Mostly because working for Donald Trump means automatically making sure all the attention always is about the boss.

Disney has developed a neural network that can watch the faces in an audience while they watch a movie to see how they are reacting. Which is different than when they watched the audience get up and walk out during “Mars needs Moms.”

A phone app tells users when they are depressed. Which the number one cause for depression is only being able to afford to use a smartphone app for therapy.

A phone app tells users when they are depressed. Which comes after the person has just finished using their phone to play 14 straight hours of “Candy Crush.”

China is using technology to predict crimes before they happen. Mostly by sitting outside the factories that dump toxic waste into their water supply every day.

Michael Phelps lost a 100 meter swimming race against a simulated Great White shark. Phelps will next claim to be Champion Golfer of the Year after winning the British Open playing the Rory McIlroy PGA Tour video game.

Michael Phelps lost a 100 meter swimming race against a simulated Great White shark. Apparently the idea came after Ryan Lochte escaped a robbery at the Rio Olympics from a simulated gunman.

The Venezuelan opposition party is calling for 48 hours of a general strike. Which is a tough decision for the three people in the country who still have a job.

Mark Zuckerberg says Elon Musk’s doomsday predictions about Artificial Intelligence are “irresponsible.” Upon which all 3 Billion people using Facebook at the time simultaneously nodded their heads in agreement.

A study says eating a big breakfast is the key to a healthier weight. Except for the people who start breakfast at 7:00 am and take it through 3:00 in the afternoon.

A study says alcohol can improve consolidating the memory in some people. Like the men who all of a sudden remember that their drinking is the reason they just handed over half of what they own to their ex-wife.

Scent marketing firms are helping businesses to tap into customers’ emotions with smells. Mostly by knowing they can get people to buy whatever they are selling just by tempting them with the odor of a Big Mac and fries.

A Wisconsin company is the first in the U.S. to implant microchips into employees to buy snacks and open doors. Apparently their workers are just not smart enough to handle the responsibility of managing loose change and a key ring.

A Wisconsin company is the first in the U.S. to implant microchips into employees to buy snacks and open doors. Although they are only the second company to mandate implants in workers if you count Hooters restaurants.

Chicago bears linebacker Jerrell Freeman reportedly saved a man from choking with the Heimlich Maneuver. To which Atlanta Falcons fans are saying “Where was this guy during the Super Bowl?”

A St. Louis man attacked four homeless people with a hammer. If he wanted to get rid of homeless people by using a hammer, why didn’t he just sign up with Habitat for Humanity?

Eight people were hit by an out of control car outside a rehab center in South Dakota. Which would be completely ironic if the person driving the car is charged with DUI.

The Vatican has shut off all fountains including the ones in St. Peter’s Square because of the drought in Italy. To which some people are asking where are all those miracles from the Pope when you need one?

An Oklahoma teacher has turned to panhandling for classroom supplies. Which is ironic in that is exactly what most Oklahoma students eventually end up doing themselves.

The Ute Tribe has pulled out of the Native American Summit in Utah, saying they want the state to treat them as a sovereign nation. To which state officials in Utah are saying who do the Utes think they are, Mormons?

O.J. Simpson’s attorney says he agrees that Simpson has had a “conflict free life” in that in 70 years he has just had a couple of incidents. Of course, with those incidents being a double murder and armed robbery by comparison even Charles Manson doesn’t seem like such a bad guy.

A report says ISIS is so desperate they are turning to the drug trade to make money. Which begs the question is it really that bad selling amphetamines and opioids instead of blowing up entire cities?

Frontier Airlines has been fined for bumping passengers and not helping the disabled. Although in their defense, the disabled people are the ones who are transferring to Frontier after being dragged off their plane by United.

Economists are telling people not to expect any breakout wage growth over the next two years. Apparently salary raises are only being given to the workers who need and deserve it the most, like pro athletes, Wall Street bankers and corporate CEOs.

NASA says it can cut flight time for travelers by half with their development of a supersonic low-noise airplane. Currently the only way for passengers to cut their flight time in half is to fly with someone other than United.

A UK man suffered a heart attack while he was teaching a class in CPR. To which the students were heard to complain to him how they hated pop quizzes.

A study says most U.S. men and women are “overfat” with excess body fat. Apparently it just sounds nicer than describing people as morbidly obese.

A study says most U.S. men and women are “overfat” with excess body fat. Apparently those are the people who don’t supplement their fatty diets with enough sugar and salt.

Justin Bieber has canceled the rest of his world tour, saying he loves his fans and hates to disappoint them. To which most people are saying ending his tour is a good place to start.

Jordan Spieth deflected comparisons to Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods. Although when it comes to his hairline, he is more on the way to being another Jerry Pate or Jim Furyk.

Dodger ace Clayton Kershaw will possibly miss four to six weeks with an injured back, after last year’s herniated disk. That’s what happens when you put that much strain on your back carrying the entire team on it the past five years.

Cowboys wide receiver Lucky Whitehead has been arrested in Virginia for shoplifting. The biggest issue for the team is dealing with an NFL receiver who can’t outrun a couple of convenience store security guards.

Cowboys wide receiver Lucky Whitehead has been arrested in Virginia for shoplifting. The first thing he should do after that is change his name to anything but “Lucky.”

Green Bay Packers President Mark Murphy says an appearance in the Super Bowl in Minnesota next year would be “fun” for fans. Mostly because for people from Green Bay, even February in Minnesota would be considered a tropical excursion.

Actor Henry Cavill’s mustache will be digitally removed from his role as Superman because Paramount has legally blocked him from shaving it for another part. Apparently someone needs to tell the movie studios they can be grown back.

Actor Henry Cavill’s mustache will be digitally removed from his role as Superman because Paramount has legally blocked him from shaving it for another part. It’s just too bad the Hollywood studios don’t have access to highly professional makeup artists who could instead give him a realistic fake mustache.

Fact-checking site Snopes says they are in danger of closing down because of a business dispute. The only question for users is where will they go to see if that is really a fake news story?

A report says United Airlines tried to ban comic books from checked luggage on a flight. Mostly to keep passengers from reading them and instead having to pay the outrageous fee to use their inflight Wi-Fi.

A report says United Airlines tried to ban comic books from checked luggage on a flight. Mostly so no one gets any ideas about trying to be a super hero when they find themselves being dragged off the plane.

A survey says people under age 35 prefer working in an office to working out of their house. Mostly because the office has access to commercial high speed Internet for much better resolution of online video games and Internet porn.

Estonia is changing the way they measure elevation which means the entire country will be 6 to 9.5 inches taller. Which means the ability to brag about a few extra inches could have only come from a government department staffed by men.

A study is examining why people curse so much at customer service representatives. It could have something to do with them being customers and receiving absolutely no service.

A study is examining why people curse so much at customer service representatives. Although one guess is it could be a result of waiting on hold for 40 minutes only to be told there is nothing that can be done before being hung up on.

Archaeologists in Israel have discovered a rare 2,700 year old reservoir. They were so excited by the find, when they realized what it was they yelled “Dam!”

NASA is issuing safety warnings on how to watch next month’s solar eclipse. Which is ironic as the first agency anyone turns to because of their safety record on the job is NASA.

NASA is issuing safety warnings on how to watch next month’s solar eclipse. Apparently in order to prevent any eye injuries, NASA is advising people to only watch it at night.

Donald Trump slammed Republican Senators for not doing their job on health care. Apparently he feels they should be doing more important work, like giving more tax breaks to the rich, keeping foreigners out and destroying the environment.

Donald Trump gave a speech where he said “Obamacare is Death.” Which apparently can only be solved by taking healthcare away from 22 Million people.

A poll says only one in four Americans believe Donald Trump will definitely complete his first term as President. The other three feel that with him taking away their healthcare, they will be lucky to make it through his first term.

That’s it for now, Oh Faithful Readers! Oh, great. As a huge Dodger fan I am not happy about seeing Clayton Kershaw be out for four to six weeks with a back injury. I think it might just be his way of giving the other pitchers in the league a chance to catch up a little in the race for the Cy Young Award. It’s been 29 years since the Dodgers have won the World Series and this does not bode well for their chances. When Southern Californians talk about the drought, it would be nice for once if they were talking about the usual scarcity of water and not their baseball team’s success. Hopefully he will be back in the lineup soon and available for the playoffs. I just want to say I always feel like the MVP every time you all remember to take the time and always keep on sending the love!